Police Wives Matter

Yes, police wives matter!  We all must understand in life police officers do get married and have families.  What’s strange is that police wives rarely have ever developed much as an organization which is sad because they too need an outlet.  If you’re married to a police officer and or were you know what I am talking about here.  Did you know there is a large percentage of police officers who find themselves in trouble over domestic violence issues? It’s not because they’re bad cops, its because they’re human!  This is partly because they’re trained to go out and deal with people who commit crimes and are normally engaging in solving peoples problems day and day out.  So then, you might say well that’s what they get paid for, which is true but we have to be real about what is really going on.  The stress factor is astronomically high and after doing the job year after year can cause a strain on any relationship. Here is an example, if you have a dog and all you do is poke at it with a stick day after day, it will growl and bark at you for being mean to it,  when all along it has caused you no harm. Well, one day after the dog has had enough it will probably bite you! So, we can see why a police officer who gets poked with that same stick when he/she has done no harm to you will eventually lash out. And, no I am not calling police officers dogs…so for you that seem to always be politically correct….get that out of your head.

Yes, maybe it is not that great of an example and trust me I am not trying to justify it but I think you get my point.  Police wives are special people, and this is because they want to communicate with their spouse but the spouse does not want to really talk about their work due to the negativity and department politics.  If they do speak about their work it maybe something of interest or funny but always seems to fall back to something negative.  Well, this weighs on the spouse even though they’re trying to be supportive.  Plus, we all know inter-departmental politics is very stressful as well.  Police wives get really mad when they hear all the negative stuff going on within the department and become disgruntled when they believe their spouse is not being treated fairly.  This is normally because a lot of police administrators don’t quite get it and this is because they lose sight of what their role is and have difficulty in relating to the patrol officer.  I’ve seen it plenty of times when a person gets promoted to a ranking position due to having an education but when they were patrol cops they were weak.

Additionally, there are those who promote because they were considered the “golden child” or were the “good ole boys.”  These types of police administrators piss off cops and their wives because the spouse has to hear it over and over.  We all know there are great police administrators who earned their promotion by merit but too we know those select few are on a low scale.  Beyond that some departments just lack in police leadership and have no real person in the department to look up to and because of this the police officer has to CYA themselves just to survive.  Police wives are commonly stuck at home by themselves due to their spouse working overtime and or a special assignment like narcotics where the officer is away much of the time. This causes a major strain on the relationship.  A lot of times, police officers will alienate their wives from doing things socially as the police officer believes they cannot socialize with people outside the police circle.  This is probably true because they believe people will not understand them or they will not fit in.  Lastly, police wives are asked to be strong and communicate with other police wives in order to have a better understanding what it is a police officer does at work everyday. This allows for better communication and education. We wish all police wives well and would hope they ban together so police officers can do things socially with others to help reduce the stress.

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